Since opening its doors in 2008, LifeSTAR Washington has helped hundreds of individuals and couples heal from the effects of pornography and other sexually compulsive behaviors. Our systemic approach is unique, as we focus on treating the entire system, not just the individual struggling with the addiction. LifeSTAR Washington is set up as a three-phase treatment program, geared toward helping those affected by pornography addiction and unwanted sexually compulsive behaviors. The phases of treatment build on one another, providing a long-term and comprehensive approach to helping people manage sexually addictive/compulsive behaviors.
The LifeSTAR Network is a nationally recognized treatment program run by licensed therapists who are trained in sexual addiction recovery. Participants receive a wealth of information, including workbooks and other materials to help them through the recovery process. The phases are specifically designed to uncover and heal patterns that create and maintain addictive behaviors.
The primary feature setting LifeSTAR apart from other treatment programs is the systemic approach offered to spouses and partners of addicts. A major focus in each of the three phases is providing spouses and partners with educational information and tools that help in the healing process. Couples are encouraged to attend together, but single adults and those who are married but would rather come alone are also welcome and encouraged to attend.
LifeSTAR Washington provides participants with a combination of group therapy, education, tools, and resources to help overcome unwanted sexually compulsive behaviors. Partners receive strong support and guidance as to how they can best manage their life as they live with someone struggling with sexual addiction.
The LifeSTAR Program
The LifeSTAR model of treatment includes three distinct and consecutive phases. Emphasis is placed on education for individuals and couples, but resources are also provided in relation to treatment planning, strengthening support networks, accountability, and guiding participants toward long-term lifestyle changes.
LifeSTAR is recommended for anyone who wants to stop any of the following behaviors:
• Viewing pornography
• Infidelity (emotional and sexual)
• Inappropriate relationships (chatting, posting profiles, texting, etc.)
• Any form of sexual acting out (strip clubs, prostitution, massage parlors, escorts, etc.)
We encourage partners to attend the LifeSTAR program so they can receive education and support as they work to effectively manage the following stressors:
• Feeling powerless
• Anger and resentment
• Difficulty setting limits or boundaries
• Feelings of low self-worth
Addicts and their partners are welcomed into a safe and confidential environment, where they feel supported as they work to understand how destructive behaviors have affected them individually and as a couple. Addicts and partners are given tools and resources to help them think clearly about their situation and feel empowered to make healthy decisions about their life.
Phase 1: The Getting Started Workshop
Phase 2: The Recovery Group
Phase 3: The Advanced Group
Phase 1: The Getting Started Workshop
The "Getting Started Workshop" is an educational fire hose designed to provide resources to people struggling with an addiction to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors, and for their partners. This exciting course provides participants with a better understanding of sexual addiction issues, and educates both partners and addicts how to begin the journey toward peace, hope, and healing.
Education is the primary focus of the Getting Started Workshop. We have found that when clients are well-informed about the underlying issues that influence unhealthy behaviors, they become empowered to take a proactive approach to recovery and life.
The setting is confidential and safe. Each group member is screened prior to attending, and the group is closed to new participants once it begins. Each group member is required to sign a confidentiality statement.
The Getting Started Workshop is intended for those just starting out in recovery, but is also recommended for those who have been attending 12-step groups, or for those being discharged from an inpatient setting.
We strongly recommend that married couples begin this process of education together, however, the workshop is also geared for single adults and for individuals whose partners are unwilling to attend.
Please expect to actively participate in the group process. We realize that this is a delicate subject and that emotions will be close to the surface. This work is not easy. Expect to struggle and find yourself outside your comfort zone. Be prepared to be loved and cared for. Our commitment is to prepare a safe environment to share your experience and begin
Some of the topics covered in the workshop include: addiction cycle, pornography and the brain, impact of pornography on relationships, relational trauma, attachment, impact of family of origin, understanding shame, boundaries, staying out of drama, discussing relapses, structuring a disclosure, relapse prevention, mindfulness, building a recovery plan, reaching out to others for support, and so on. This class is packed full of information, workbooks, and other exercises to help structure a successful long-term recovery journey.
Cost for the LifeSTAR Phase 1 "Getting Started Workshop" is $600 per person. Price includes 4 workbooks, three booklets, and 18 hours of therapeutic education.
To get more information about the next Phase 1 group, or to sign up, please contact us.
Phase 2: The Recovery Group
The "Recovery Group" is intended to help clients develop solid sobriety and employ successful strategies that will help them live healthier, more productive lives.
In Phase 2, clients and their partners attend separate recovery groups for men and women. The groups consist of 5-10 individuals and are facilitated by a trained LifeSTAR therapist.
Participants should stay in Phase 2 until they have established solid sobriety, are implementing an effective treatment plan, which includes a network of support, and have a detailed understanding of their addictive system.
Continued active participation in the group process is crucial. Deeper and more personal work is done in this phase for both the men and women. The men get to the root of their addiction, become accountable for their actions and sobriety, and form a close-knit support group with the other men in their group. The women focus on deep recovery work from the relational trauma they have experienced. This safe environment and group support is vital as they support one another through recovery. Expect to work hard and expand beyond your comfort zone. This is where the real recovery work is done!
Phase 2 shifts from an educational approach, to a "working recovery" approach. Participants will complete assignments and hold one another accountable on a weekly basis. These tools and principles lay the groundwork required for lasting recovery. The workbooks in Phase 2 focus on providing a deeper look at denial, the addiction cycle, fantasies and objectification, relapse prevention, and healthy living. Participants should stay in Phase 2 until they have established a solid sobriety, are implementing an effective treatment plan - including a network of support - and have a detailed understanding of their addictive system. Women in Phase 2 take a deep look at the impact of relational trauma on their emotions, thoughts, and relationships. The primary focus is to help them open themselves back up to life and relationships so they don't organize their life around the fear of the addiction or being hurt again. The women work to heal the deep pain of betrayal and work to build a life of strength and connection.
Cost for Phase 2 "Recovery Group" is $200 per month per person. Price includes 4 additional workbooks and 6 hours of group therapy per month.
Phase 3: The Advanced Group
The "Advanced Group" is a long-term commitment to group therapy and is geared toward helping participants maintain their new-found healthy lifestyles. Phase 3 participants have graduated from Phase II and continue working in their small groups. Clients and partners continue in separate groups during this phase.
Phase 3 addresses the issues that define addiction, such as faulty core beliefs, trauma, and abuse. Once the addiction is being managed and the underlying issues have been addressed, healthy lifestyle changes are reinforced in order to keep the addiction from reappearing.
For couples in the program, this is the time to practice their new lifestyle and new way of relating to each other. In Phase 3, they put into practice all of the identity and boundary training they have received during Phases I and 2.
By now, continued active participation in the group process should be routine. Phase 3 addresses the issues that created the addiction in the first place, such as faulty core beliefs, trauma, and shame. Once the addiction has been stopped and the underlying issues have been addressed, healthy lifestyle changes are reinforced in order to keep the addiction from reappearing. The women's Phase 3 group helps women learn how to open up and trust again. It's common for women to feel emotionally shut down from relational trauma. Phase 3 helps them rediscover the ways they protected themselves emotionally and how to free themselves from staying closed and guarded with others.
For couples in the program, this is the time to practice their new lifestyle and new way of relating to each other. In Phase 3, they have more relationship security and safety to grow more deeply and intimately as a couple. This is where the true lifestyle change occurs to ensure lasting recovery.
The men in the third phase of treatment have demonstrated a solid sobriety from the sexual acting out behaviors and are ready to do the more delicate work of healing shame, attachment, and other emotional issues that the addiction covered up. Once the underlying issues have been addressed, healthy lifestyle changes are reinforced in order to keep the addiction from reappearing in the future. Men also learn how to improve their relationships with their wives, children, extended family, co-workers, and friends. Most women have moved past the crisis of betrayal in Phase 3 and are now able to work on healthy emotional expression, healing trauma, decreasing shame, and improving their most important relationships. Women in the third phase re-discover their best selves and build patterns for long-term healthy living.
In Phase 3, clients and their partners attend separate recovery groups for men and women. The groups consist of 5-10 individuals and are facilitated by a trained LifeSTAR therapist.
For both men and women, Phase 3 is a chance to practice living life without the constant threat of the addiction and helps each of them secure the gains from the two previous phases.Cost for Phase 3 is $200 per month per person. Price includes materials and 6 hours of group therapy per month.
The YouthStar Program
The YouthSTAR program is a 10-week outpatient treatment program intended for youth ages 12-18 who want to stop any of the following behaviors:
• Viewing pornography
• Sexualized relationships and interactions (texting, online, or in person)
Parents are given tools and resources as part of the YouthSTAR program to help their children succeed in overcoming unwanted sexual behaviors.
If you are interested in learning more about the YouthSTAR program, please call our office at (253) 880-5651 for more information.